Disclaimer: I have no schooling in astrology, astronomy, cosmology, not even cosmetology. Read for entertainment and reflection.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22):
Leo, have you ever misspelled Enjoy as Injoy? No? Maybe you should! Misspell it, but also experience a bit of “In-Joy.” It’s been far too long that you have found yourself in a state of giddy bliss, of being IN JOY. I’m not talking about hopping on a plane and heading to Brazil for some zip-lining through the Amazon. I’m talking about having a squirt gun fight at high noon with the neighborhood kids; licking the chocolate icing off a mixing bowl; playing air guitar to Juke Box Hero; or simply, laying in hammock looking at the stars. My August advice to you is to slow down and be in joy of the simple pleasures of life. They wish to be etched into your memory. Your chores can wait. And believe it or not, your spouse, kids, grandkids, and pets will wait, too.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22):
Recently, a friend in Mexico posted that she spent the day turning over beetles that were on their backs struggling to flip right-side up. I remember doing the same thing, years ago, when I was in Oaxaca. I felt helping them back onto their feet gave them a second chance, a new lease on life, and that perhaps one day I may need such help. My friend replied that it was a full-time job helping them. Virgo, you currently have a friend that is like those beetles. Pay attention! Don’t step on him/her as their limbs flail wildly trying to get right-side up. Squat down, lend a helping hand, and flip them back onto their feet. That’s what friend do. Right now it’s your turn to do the flipping. And yes, one day it’ll be their turn, when they find you struggling like an insect on hot Mexican cobblestone. Go out and earn some karma points, now!
Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22):
It’s about this time of year that people begin to plan a trip to see the Changing of the Leaves. They are excited to see less chlorophyll (the green stuff) in a leaf and want to be wowed by the beauty of change—in reality, the beauty of a leaf’s demise. You, Libra, are currently in season of change and loss. Unlike with leaves, we fail to see beauty, we fail to be wowed, by loss/change. I ask you to take a few steps out of your current scenario. Look at it as if you’re a stranger coming onto the scene. What beauty can you pick out? What advice can you give? What way can you plan to celebrate this change as if you’re just driving through? I challenge you to take this loss and create a new yearly tradition of your own. Make it as small or as big as you see fit. The point is to acknowledge your struggle, see how it changes from year to year, and to pay homage and remembrance to loss and to who/what has changed.
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21):
The Mississippi River carries debris it gathers from over 2000 miles. You can see the murky water and garbage floating by. But whether it’s a setting sun or the moonlight, when light shines down, the river’s beauty is revealed: mystical, inviting, and inspiring. Spectators soon forget the faults of the river. I urge you, to be like such spectators, but with yourself. Forget the faults you see within you. Stop beating yourself up. Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) has garbage they carry around. Scorpio, look at yourself in a new light. Your true essence of resilience, grace, and humility is yearning to shine. And boy, it is ravishing! Reflect on that the next time you find yourself under the sunlight, the full moonlight, or hell, even a bathroom light.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21):
August 1st marks 75 years that Anne Frank wrote her last journal entry. In part, she wrote, “[I] keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would like to be, and what I could be ...” I sense that you, too, have been wondering what more you could possibly become, or bloom into. Let me be frank (pun intended), Sagittarians, stop wondering, waiting, blaming and start doing. Are you waiting for someone to give you license to do something? Sure, there are licenses for fishing, driving, hunting, nursing, & hairdressing. There’s no license to “explore” who you may become. But you aren’t living in a dictatorship (yet), either. So, give yourself license! Grab a 3x5 flash card and write: LICENSED to EXPLORE who I could be. Now laminate that card and carry it on you at all times. Believe in it. When anyone questions your amazing evolution, just flash that license in their face.
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19):
On the podcast Phil In the Blanks, Dr. Phil says the three most expensive words in the English language are, “Might as well.” Look around your environment, Capricorn. How many objects were “Might as well” buys? And of those items, how many enhanced your daily life as you expected? The problem, I’m sensing, is that you’re saying, “Might as well,” more often than not. This leaves no space for a truly special item or moment. And the extra expenditures are catching up. Use August to reevaluate when and why you are giving in to luxury items, upgrades, and extreme non-essentials. Look closely at what you are trying to hide, ignore, or attempting to fix with such purchases. You’ll thank yourself come December when finances and emotional confrontations come to a head.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18):
Have you ever taken note that the same seven letters in DISEASE are also in SEASIDE? The two words have a long history together. During the 1600-1800s doctors would prescribe Sea, Salt, and Sun therapy to patients suffering anything from a case of the nerves to tuberculosis. These therapies included sea bathing or dunking, sea water drinking, deep ocean air breathing, and absorbing a dose of sunrays while walking along the shoreline. Doesn’t that sound healing? Aquarians, consider adding an alternative remedy to ease your maladies (both physical and emotional). I’ve just written a Rx for you to visit the ocean. There, dig your toes into the sand and let the Sea, Salt, & Sun heal your sorrows and aches. Or at least, let the ocean flood your senses to temporarily soothe whatever is plaguing your heart and mind.
Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20):
You have spent years, if not a lifetime, cultivating and molding your inner circle. You have become the person everyone turns to for guidance; you are admired for your honesty, humor, and knowledge. I have good news and bad news for you, Pisces. The good news: you have become the mighty leader of your tribe. And your ego loves it. The bad news: you have become the mighty leader of your tribe. Your ego can’t see straight. You have surrounded yourself with followers. The only way to grow is to seek out those smarter, wittier, than you. Now is a good time to make at least one friend outside of your circle, so you can learn something new. If your ego can’t imagine being a temporary follower/observer, then you best go make at least five new friends. Or else, your leadership is near its end.
Aries (March 21 - April 19):
At Your Inner Yogi, yoga instructor Libby places small cards on the corner of each students mat. One side of the card says, “Thank you” and the other side says, “No thank you.” As she teaches, she gives assistance in body alignment. However helpful this gesture is, she gives the students the right to decline her help. Students can simply turn their card to the No Thank You side. Aries, have you been this gentle in telling people, “Thanks, but no thanks”? Do you become resentful after saying Yes when you wanted to say No? Your brash I-can-do-it-better-by-myself- is becoming your reputation. Consider softening up your approach. Know this: 1. You, certainly, don’t have to say yes to any offer no matter how well-intended it is. 2. Your ways could be looking a gift horse in the mouth 3. A sincere No Thank You does not require any further explanation. Take this month to listen to your tone and observe the new feedback, both verbal and non-verbal.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20):
“Thank you is the best prayer.” “Too blessed to be stressed.” “Gratitude changes everything.” You can’t escape them; all these saying about gratitude. They’re on coffee mugs, t-shirts, notebooks, and every other person’s FB page. It’s difficult to believe such phrases right now when your world feels it’s spinning off its axis. I don’t want you to start a Gratitude journal—you aren’t there yet. It’ll be a waste of time trying to come up with stuff you really aren’t grateful for, but that look good on paper. Instead, begin a “I know I Should Be Grateful For This” journal. In big lettering on the front cover write: An Ungrateful Journal. Each day write down three things that you know you should be grateful for, but just aren’t feeling it. This will keep you honest and give a nod in the right direction of gratitude. I guarantee you, in due time, those items will make their way over to the “deeply grateful for” list. And then, you will connect with all this talk about gratitude.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20):
Over 650,000 people visit Elvis Presley’s Graceland each year. My friend Nicole visited years ago, while passing through Memphis. She said there was something special about Graceland that she couldn’t pinpoint. It’s safe to assume, most Elvis fans would describe it as special. But what about the non-fans, like Nicole. I thought long about this. Graceland is special not just because Elvis lived and died there, nor because he is laid to rest on the grounds, but because nobody (except family) is allowed upstairs. It is sacred. Graceland has allowed one small part of Elvis to remain absolutely sacred, when every looky-loo would pay high dollar to go upstairs. This is sage advice to you, Gemini. How can you carve out some time or areas of your life for sanctity? Reel in some of your big talk and humble brags. Does everyone need to know everything? Find one aspect of your life to keep sacred. By doing so, you too, will be thought of as special, rather than, “Beware, she/he is kinda different, if you know what I mean.”
Cancer (June 21 - July 22):
Oh, dear Cancerian, I feel your pain. I hear you screaming inside that shell of yours. You’ve patted yourself on the back for coming out of your protective coating. You’ve left hints of what you want, hoping that your loved ones can see them and fulfill your needs. Sorry to tell you this: those hints, no matter how cleverly placed or presented, will not be noticed. You will need to be far more direct—like, say exactly what you want, need, desire in the most forthcoming way possible. I know this is as painful as a hammer cracking your shell. But there are no ands, ifs, or buts about it. Speak up. You can then crawl back into your shell knowing you tried. Or you can crawl back into your shell with exactly what you have requested.
Business, places, & people mentioned here are in no way affiliated to Horoscopes Pulled from The Mississippi River. All mentions are from my personal experience and/or opinion.