Disclaimer: I have no schooling in astrology, astronomy, cosmology, not even cosmetology. Read for entertainment and reflection.
Mississippi River September Forecast: Start the month at River Stage of 10 feet; losing approximately 7 feet by end of the month.
Full Moon: September 13
Autumnal Equinox: September 23
Other Night Sky Views: 9/6 Moon & Jupiter get snuggly side by side; 9/8 Moon, Saturn, & Pluto pull a close threesome!
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22):
Historically, September is a month filled with independence and new on-sets of freedoms. A few noteworthy examples: Frederick Douglass from slavery; Brazil from Portugal after 322 years; the first non-stop flight between Europe & USA; Nixon granted a full pardon by Ford; Mexico from Spain after 289 years; Chile from Spain after 269 years; Lincoln’s preliminary Emancipation Proclamation. My favorite is Mexico’s Independence, which is also referred to as the Grito De Dolores (The Cry of Dolores), when Hidalgo rang his church bells and yelled out a call to arms. Shouldn’t all independence be done this way? Virgo, what is holding you down, keeping you prisoner? Our confinements are usually not political or from another person, but from our own mental state. Be honest with yourself—what story have you told yourself so many times that it has chained you. Like the fable of an elephant tied to a rope that it can easily break, but doesn’t, your mindset can keep you in place or set you free. Be like Mexico on Sept 16, 1810: acknowledge your opponent; ring the bells, yell out, and declare your independence. After all, it is your month!
Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22):
When I think of perfect, timeless harmonies, I think of Simon & Garfunkel and Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young. That’s why I find it surprising that, despite perfect-pitch harmonies, these groups not only broke up, but they deeply despise one another. Was there too much passion? Too many egos? Too much of being alike? Too much harmony? I don’t know. But Libra, I do know of your awesome balancing act. In the coming weeks, your fair-minded mediation abilities are going to be called upon to resolve the discord of a situation that has gone haywire; asymmetrical. I can see you pulling out your balancing scale, already! The problem with this scenario is that it has the power to throw you into its turmoil. Once you are emotionally-charged, you’re useless. I beg of you, remain neutral, don’t take anything personal as they throw swords at you. If you remain strong, fairly disseminating the problems, you will be the hero. It’ll be like you ending the silence between Simon & Garfunkel, so they can reunite to sing “The Sound of Silence” and hug, love, and write songs for us, again. Libra, stay balanced - do it for harmony lovers!
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21):
I was practicing Yoga Under the Stars along the Mississippi River the other night, while thinking of a few Scorpion friends of mine. As I transitioned into a half-ass, wobbling Half-Moon Pose, the word Shakti came to mind. I thought it fitting for you. You see, as of late, your confidence as plummeted, and you aren’t recognizable in this lowly state. Shakti, is the Sanskrit word for Power. It is the ultimate feminine power of the Universe. I offer this word, this concept, to you. You have been calling on all the masculine superheroes, gods, and mafia godfathers for guidance. You have completely neglected the hidden force, the silent partner, behind all strength – the feminine. You can call on her for help and earn some brownie points to your tab by acknowledging her. How? Helping the old lady into a restaurant (she holds more wisdom than you’ll ever know), telling your mother or an aunt the positive attributes you love about her, giving a compliment to a single mother doing her best, or, stop making tongue-in-cheek cat jokes to a single woman who doesn’t need reminding of her loneliness. Whether you’re a man who adores being boosted by women, or a woman who finds it earth-shattering good when women support other women; call on Shakti for added courage and strength. The Yin will compliment the Yang, as it always has.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21):
Did you know fireflies spend most of their life as a larva, not as the beautiful bioluminescent creatures that we love? You probably know people like larvae. Are you like larvae? The lightning bug should be your hero, the light (so to speak) at the end of your encrusted, hardened tunnel. You have the ability to glow, to be light and free, and awed over with glee. But first, you must conjure up some light. In the month of September, take note of how often you express darkness, negativity, and resentment. In its place, begin to break ground. Here are a few examples of creating light: smile at a stranger, send a hand-written note to an old friend for no reason at all, learn a new joke and share it with someone, say “Thank You” to The Universe (even if it feels like there’s nothing to thank it for). Like the firefly, humans have a knack of spending very little time in the light, producing light, and sharing their light. But, when they do, it is illuminating in more ways than one. Be like a firefly in flight, bringing joy to those who observe them.
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19):
You spend so much time planning, calculating, giving forethought to scenarios that are out of your control. I’m not saying this is a negative behavior. No time is truly wasted. However, time is the one thing we cannot get back or buy. In a lifetime, humans spend approximately 92 days on the toilet—only because we have no choice in the matter. However, on the toilet is where many of our great ah-hah moments occur. Aside from it being the place where we release ourselves of toxins, it’s yet another place we play on our phones, scroll FB, read our emails (or the back of shampoo bottles if our phone is charging in another room). This month, try your best, to make your bathroom time your meditation time. I challenge you not to take any magazine, or digital device in as hostage during your daily duty. Sit, reflect, don’t reflect, and allow your mind some “down time.” Can you do it? If so, I guarantee you, your mind will be refreshed (even before the air freshener is used) and a flurry of new insight, long-awaited answers to questions that have baffled you, deeper understanding and patience will subtlety begin to emerge from you in the months to come. And you can use all that, in your planning, calculating, forethought, in a more profound way. For more facts on how you spend your time, click here (but not while your butt is on the porcelain)!
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18):
I have a photo of my brother’s Iguana, “Bruna,” on my mirror. She stared at me, until I gave her my attention. I swear I heard her send this message, “My cousin, the marine iguana, is the sprit-animal to Aquarians. Please tell them.” Yeah, I know you’re disappointed to hear that an iguana is your spirit-animal. You thought it was the panther, or horse. Allow me to tell you why the marine iguana is your perfect fit. I’ve repeated this interesting fact many times over: The marine iguana is the only vertebrate that can shrink its skeletal structure during times of stress, during its time of lacking. When in famine, it adapts; when in feast, it flourishes. I did not say when in famine it starves. I said, it adapts. Aquarians, you are the same. You adjust, you acclimate, you change, you find a way. It’s been a tough 2019, you may feel that you are shrinking. Perhaps you are. But it’s to endure this new environment. Rest assured, like the marine iguana, after this hardship has passed, you will return to your normal size and ways. You will survive. Now, take a breath. Release. I said RELEASE! Yes, I know the Marine Iguana can hold its breath under water for about 80 minutes. Aquarians, please don’t attempt that. Breathe. And if you read last month’s horoscope, I can’t imagine a better place for the marine iguana spirit-animal in you to breathe.
Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20):
The left ventricle of the heart fills with blood and with each beat it should pump out approximately 55– 70% of the chamber. That’s percentage is called an Ejection Fraction. Having a 60% Ejection Fraction is considered a healthy heart. When the number heads toward 50% or lower, doctors look for heart failure. When the number goes above 75% other problems are encountered, like hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. With a mere 60%, the heart can supply your entire system and make you run effectively. I tell you this because you’re an all or nothing type person. I’m asking you to consider being like an Ejection Fraction, start and stay working at 60%. You have goals, I know. No, you don’t need to build that dream 10,000 piece model ship in one day. Chip away at it, but only give 60% each time. Not 100% (burning out like a supernova), not 0% (never catching fire). Sixty-percent may be your most effective and efficient mode; it will supply your goals with what it needs for the long haul, the marathon. Ignore all the clichés about giving 100%; working at 110%,going above and beyond, and giving your entire heart. No, Pisces, no. The heart, literally, would not be any good giving 100%. Like the heart, a recalibrated 60% is your 100%. Now go get ‘em, Pisces!
Aries (March 21 - April 19):
The earth has but one satellite, The Moon. We earthly habitants take her for granted; knowing she will always be there doing her job. Some of us count on her, some of us ignore her. We all blame her for any craziness on full moon nights; or give her credit for romantic moonlight walks. And she takes it. Kind of. The moon is slipping away, at rate of 1.5 inches a year. She’s leaving us, folks. I can’t help but wonder if it’s on purpose. Is she tired of our behavior? Or worse yet, is she being seduced by another planet? Aries, like the Moon, who in your life has been your satellite, the one friend or family member you have counted on, taken for granted? If you feel he/she is slipping further away, you’re right. If you want to lasso your satellite back, you will need to relinquish being the person everyone revolves their life around. Don’t worry, not forever, but for now. Their rotation cycle has ended; it’s time for yours to begin. And in case you can’t imagine that, know this: without a moon, our planet would be darker, rocking this way and that way, unsteady, losing grasp of its axis. It’ll be a rollercoaster ride with no end in sight. To maintain your “moon,” you need to get going on revolving around another, for once.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20):
Stop walking through life with rose-lens glasses, Roy Orbison blackest-black sunglasses, gas-permeable contact lenses, or with your eyes shut. Why? Because the cornea can only receive its oxygen supply directly from the air, unlike other body parts that receive its oxygenation from blood vessels. You need to start seeing things with the naked eye, as they are. The burst of oxygen to hit your eyes will give you a new perspective and breathe new life into old problems. Last month, I asked you to start an Ungrateful Journal. Did you? Probably not. And now you’re wondering if this month will be like last month and the month prior. Stop. Peel your eyes wide open for some fresh air, get that I know I Should Be Grateful for This journal going and get down to the nitty-gritty of truth. I suspect that all this blocking of oxygen, from life, that you are doing right now will only lead you toward being shriveled or exploding into disaster by years’ end. Oxygenate, oxygenate, oxygenate. Don’t fear what you will see. The answer are not only within, but all around.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20):
Why do you pride yourself in being the two-faced Zodiac? You think you trick others, switching from one face to the next. Everyone knows your two faces so well that they have lost interest. What Geminis don’t seem to know is that they really have a third face that is somewhere in the transition of moving from face one to face two. Think of yourself as a bridge (say the Hernando de Soto). One side of the bridge is Arkansas and one side Tennessee. People zoom from one side to the other, the way you flip your two personalities. Big yawn! Predictable! Tell us something new. In the middle, where the arches are, lie a complete other story - the true story of what’s really going on. It’s in, under, and over your arch that lie your frailties, strengths, beauty, faults, and the core of who you really are. Oh, I know you fear and rarely visit that area. Take this month not only to explore, but to camp out there, and show others who that person is. That is the Gemini face others will find interesting and eager to befriend.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22):
Do you have friends that levitate you or at least elevate your mental state? Soon we will close out another precious year. Use the remainder of the year to figure out how to raise your frequency, or at least avoid whatever/whomever lowers it. It may be in objects, in experiences, in thoughts, or in relationships. Remember, everything – abstract or concrete – carries energy. I want you to focus on the thoughts you have following encounters with friends. Are they nagging you? Can’t pinpoint what it is? You don’t got time for that! Start the elimination process on negativity; and begin the gathering process on positivity. The next few months are crucial. Your newly-found-levitated-state is what will carry you to the goal you so badly wish to achieve in 2020. Start now. Check out this 40 second video of me being “levitated” by the energy of my friends. Instructions on this exercise at the end of this zodiac scroll. Try it!
Leo (July 23-Aug 22):
I took a wrong turn in Memphis the other day. I turned on a familiar named street, but one I had never driven down. On one corner, several men were hanging out against the wall of a corner market, they stared at me as I passed. A few blocks up, a large gathering of people hung out in a Walgreen’s parking lot. They had a huge sign that read “Stop for a prayer & blessing.” I drove past, and they never noticed me. Unlike you, Leo, I wasn’t a brave lion to stop in unknown territory of Memphis and take them up on a free prayer/blessing. Instead, like a scared kitty, I put my petal to the metal to scurry past such generous people. If you know anything about The South, you know that prayers and blessings are bountiful, and are genuine—even if you’re not of the same faith. I kept thinking about them and how I regretted NOT stopping, just to see what they’d say. I have a feeling you wouldn’t have stopped either, but not because of fear. Leo, toss your pride aside, thinking you can handle it all. Really show your strength, by taking someone up on their offer of a helping hand, a prayer or a blessing. You never know how one sentence could possibly be the one phrase your soul has waited a lifetime to hear. Be open. Don’t drive past opportunity. You will be surprised at how even more wonderful your life can be with the help of others.
Levitate with Friends!
1) Seat yourself in a chair. 2) Get four fun friends to stand around you. 3) First, have them attempt to lift you with their two index fingers together in pistol-position. Two people with their finger lightly under your knees and the other with their fingers under your arms. This attempt will budge you, slightly. 4) Now have them rub their hands together, creating heat. 5) In turn, each friend will place their right hand above your head. Spaced accordingly. Then their left hand follows, creating an even spaced hand tower above your head. 6) One person will count to twenty. 7) Remove you hand one by one in reverse order 8) Your friends will place their pistol-positions back under your knees or armpit and lift. 9) You will levitate (and feel how high you go)!