"I hate Barbie!" Blush told her father.
She sounded eight-years-old, but she was thirty-two, single, and a little more on the full-figured side. "I don't get it. I don't get her, and I surely don't get you!" she continued.
They had this conversation many times before and once again her Dad explained "Barb" (he referred to Barbie as Barb), the whole business of selling a non-realistic doll, and ended it with "It's the way of the world - nothing is ever how it should be. Life works upside down."
When she saw her father for the last time he was boarding a private Tesla Ultrasonic Air Capsule transport that had the hideous Barbie head painted on the side. She thought What a pompous prick! She hated him and everything he manufactured and promoted: The Barbie name, the skinny plastic bitch that no girl could ever live up to, yet, that sold billions every year. Being a plump girl, how could Daddy possibly stand for this ugly looking doll? Money. Plain and simple. Money. The doll had survived the test of time. It was 2120 and Daddy continued to sell Barbie as a relic of the past century.
When she learned that the pilot found Daddy dead, in the capsule after landing in Brazil, due to a blood clot that traveled not only to Brazil with him, but up to his brain to kill him, she felt no remorse about that last thought she had of him. The corporation would be split 50/50 between her and her brother, Blake. The only clause was that the four hundred and eighty million dollars they would each inherit had to be spent on the Barbie corporation, product, and marketing. Any profits earned from their contribution to the company would then be their "inheritance.” And any financial loss? Well, "That four hundred and eighty million wasn't ever yours to begin with," the executor of the estate reminded them. What a mother fucker, Blush thought. An inheritance that had to be earned?
She wanted to run that skinny bitch Barbie down to the grave along with her father. And that's when the idea popped into her head: What about a Barbie that no longer represented perfect? Let's give the generation of 2120 exactly what they were: fucked up, weird and wired kids. Hence, she happily spent the first half of her inheritance on creating the latest version of Barbie: BARB-WIRED. That's right, Barb wired, stoned, and cracked out of her light-weight head.
She designed the Barb body out of barbed wire, spikes and all, so incredibly painful to touch, hold and play with. The company kept with the traditional silicon for the head, with blood shot eyes, and two firm silicon boobs, with barbed wire protruding through for nipples. The first Barb-Wired came with a miniature smoking pipe in cool colors. Barb loved smoking her marijuana out of the pink one, of course. The Limited Edition of the first Barb-wired came with brownie snacks and processed, genetically modified popcorn to munch on after her high!
Blush watched the stock market the day the doll hit the shelves. She was certain the Barbie stock would plummet. Bible belt preachers would riot, PTA Moms would cry, Girl Scouts would eat way too many cookies and question what has happened to their world? But no, that did not happen. If Blush had been following business trends she would have known that crack pipes had sold more the first half of 2120 than the last ten years combined. And to have Barbie owning one, was well, totally "rad." Linguist proudly wrote about how the word "rad" came back 250 years later and the new Barb-Wired was the epitome of the word. Rad! Blush was pissed. She marched off to her product development team where she drew out the plans of the next Barb-Wired series:
Release number two of Barb-Wired came with an itsy-bitsy bag of cocaine (sugar), and a Barb with a stained bloody nose.
Release number three, came with Barb-Wired on Heroine (sugar water), included a mini syringe, spoon, and lighter that really worked!
Barb-Wired kept selling like hot cakes. Blush knew she had to cross the line even further in order to destroy Barbie.
Release number four was packaged with real crystal meth and DIY home instructions on how to make more meth when the buyer ran out!
Instead of drowning the Barbie name, stocks soared. Blush was interviewed by every business magazine and made the cover of OUR TIME. Girls across America idolized her because owning a Barb-Wired nearly guaranteed them the skinny traditional Barbie look after doing meth. Homes had to be triple locked, as robbers were in search of the highly-coveted limited editions of Barb-Wired.
All the while, Blake had stuck to the relic Barbie and was flat broke! His "inheritance" down the traditional drain. Blush, started loving this business, jet-setting here and there to explain how she came up with Barb-Wired - the Barbie that's always Wired product! In the midst of it all she got caught up, forgot about her father, forgot about killing off Barbie, that skinny bitch, and the Barbie name. She finally understood Daddy and "Barb,” she explained to Blake, as she boarded a Tesla Ultrasonic Air Capsule with a Barb-Wired painted on the side.
That pompous Bitch! thought Blake. It's the way of the world - nothing is ever how it should be. Life works upside down.